Are you or your partner emotionally unhealthy?

by Yvette van Niekerk

80% of the married couple are separating or divorces because of emotional unhealth in their marriage. I think it’s because we all have pasts and are both bringing some baggage into a new relationship.

Some sound advice found in the Bible that we may follow when seeking a life partner.

I must tell you that I agree with this one in Proverbs. I used to be married to a furious man. It turns out I have adopted his anger and can lash out in seconds. Of course, I am working on my attitude and my temper, but yes, I agree with this Proverbs.

Number One:  Don’t marry someone who nurses an uncontrolled temper. Proverbs 22 verse 24 (NIV) says, “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person; do not associate with one easily angered.” I know I struggle with deep insecurities, and I suffer from low self-worth.

Number Two: Don’t marry someone who is struggling with an addiction. Proverbs 23 verse 20 (TEV) says “Don’t associate with people who drink too much wine or stuff themselves with food.” You will see it mentions liquor or food, but I believe drugs and other substances are on the list too.

Number Three: You won’t be happy if you marry someone bitter. They hide it well, but it comes to the surface now and then. Stop being resentful leave it behind and move on with your life. Reading Hebrews 12 verse 14 – 15 AMP “Continually pursue peace with everyone, and the sanctification without which no one will [ever] see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of God’s grace; that no root of resentment springs up and causes trouble, and by it, many defiled.”

Number Four: Steer clear of someone selfish. We see Proverbs 28 verse 25 TLB says “greed causes fighting; trusting God leads to prosperity.” So greed is being selfish, which is a number one problem in many relationships because I’m more important than you.

Number Five: Greed is a problem and causes many fights: Probers 15 verse 27 TLB “Dishonest money brings grief to all the family, but hating bribes bring happiness.” You will be stuck with someone who needs this and needs that, making debt and you will continuously be paying off something.

Number One person to get married to is “Kind and Generous person.” Proverbs 11: 24 – 25 TLB says “It is possible to give away and become richer! It is also possible to hold on too tightly and lose everything. Yes, the liberal man shall be rich! By watering others, he waters himself.”

The best person to get married to should be someone who doesn’t tell lies but tells you the truth. Proverbs 20 verse 7 TLB says “It is a wonderful heritage to have an honest father.”

I am mostly interested in people who tell me the truth. I feel very offended when people lie to me. I think they believe I am an idiot. It makes me angry, and I lose my faith in them there and then.


Heavenly Father, help me to give, and [gifts] are given to me; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over. Lord I am asking that with the same standard I deal out [with the standard I use when I confer benefits on others], it will be measured back to me. Please search my heart, and create in my a clean heart and a pure spirit.  In Jesus Christ Name Amen

Yvette van Niekerk

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Published by Yvettevn007

I say I am a Christian wife, an Author, Radio Presenter, a Blogger, a mother, and stepmother, a granny, and a Data Capture and Personal Assistant. I absolutely and unconditionally love the LORD my God, and my husband and children. I love to write devotionals about the Word of God – the Bible. I like to incorporate my feelings and understanding in my blogs. We all face challenges don't we, and for me, it is just as difficult as for the next person. I also get frustrated and irritated and cry, and after everything I have tried, I turn back to God. I seem to learn the hard way, just like a little child always wanting to try it myself before I ask Daddy for help. I would say that I am a people's kind of person, I feel their pain, and I love to laugh with them. I always aspire to see the very best in people, never judging and still considering what they might be facing as people there and then. On meeting people, I always place them in the highest bracket on my scale. I believe the very best of each person. I do hope you love reading my blogs and seeing what I am doing on my web page. In the precious name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I bless you.

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