by Yvette van Niekerk
I’m in my late fifties, and I started the renewing of my mind a couple of years ago. But, last year was one of my worse years ever. The devil knows that I am trying to live a holy life; I am trying to become more like the Lord Jesus. The list goes on, and the thing is I started to feel condemned and guilty about a lot of decisions I took when I was younger. I was constantly feeling upset and worried about the things I did wrong. I finally broke down, told my husband and my daughter.
My daughter asked me to think about the situation that made me feel so badly and analyze it, was it all I could do at the time? Did I have another option? Could I have changed my circumstance then? I honestly couldn’t do much at the time, and I was very reactive too. So NO, I couldn’t change the way I acted. I also realized Satan was telling me I was a total failure, that it didn’t matter. I wasn’t good enough, and God doesn’t love me, I won’t ever get out of this mess.
The truth is I was very discouraged, and I struggled a number of months with these negative thoughts. I finally said to myself, No more, please, Lord Jesus, help me.
2 Corinthians 10, verse 3 – 6 MSG “The world is unprincipled. It’s dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn’t fight fair. But we don’t live or fight our battles that way – never have and never will. The tools of our trade aren’t for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity.”
Father God, You know I am still struggling with condemnation, but I believe that You are helping me get through this period in my life. I bind the negative thoughts, and I pray for peace in my life. I believe Your word that “only goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life.” I confess these words today and also say “I am the righteousness of God in Christ, no weapons formed against me will prosper.” As I face today, I want to praise Your Holy Name Lord, Holy Spirit You are welcome in my life. I embrace You today, accepting the challenges that come to me knowing You are on my side, “greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world.” In the name of Jesus, my Savior Amen.
Yvette van Niekerk
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