Communication – forced by the Lock-down?

Genesis 2:21-22 (AMP)

21 “So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam; and while he slept, He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. 22 And the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man He made (fashioned, formed) into a woman, and He brought her and presented her to the man.”

Are you married? I am, and according to my husband, we don’t talk enough. The frightening part is for the next 21 days we are alone at home. I have heard some guys have bought 3 cases of whiskey and loads of cooldrink. The fear of staying at home with your husband or wife must be overwhelming.

I actually thought I do speak to my husband; I know I have been complaining about the kids a lot. They really work on my nerves.

What I have come to realize is we are two different people, his the total opposite to me. I like to chat, and I enjoy the limelight. He’s very conservative and never speaks his mind. I sometimes believe his hiding things from me. So we need to focus on our verbal communication, my emotional state of mind, and our physical state. The challenge for me is actually putting my thoughts into words. I have become so accustomed to keeping my mouth shut that when I really am upset, I am unable to speak the words. I normally break down in tears and then run away. He truly is frustrated with me, because he isn’t sure what the hell is going on with me. I do believe we have a sense of closeness in our marriage. Although, at times, we are really far apart. I do feel taken aback when he says that I don’t talk to me. When all I do is tell him things that irritate me. This is a learning curve for me, and I find it difficult to relate to him at times. He loves going to bed very late, I, on the other hand, want to go to bed at least by 10 pm.

Well, I’m sure you can relate, some people are night owls, and others are early birds. So I’m not really sure what is on my husband’s mind and sometimes he isn’t sure what I’m thinking. 

During this lockdown, I hope that I am able to bridge the gap between myself and my husband when it comes to communication. I believe God has put the marriage in place so that we can be in a relationship with each other. Looking at Genesis 2, verses 18, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” We both need each other and, therefore, should at least understand each other. I used to have a great body, and as time goes on, it is difficult to maintain that excellent body. Especially when I have to cook so many meals and make sure everybody is eating.

Well, from my point of view, communication is difficult in general for me, I normally listen well, but when I need to speak my mind. I seem to offend or say things uncut. To straight forward at times and that is really bad, I feel my filters have fallen by the wayside. I realize that God created Eve from Adams’s rib and not any other part of his body. I think this is the reason we are supposed to be equal. I realized when I went away on Holiday overseas that I was truly missed. I realize my husband really missed me and knew he loves me. The loneliness he felt when I was away and the same for me. I was visiting with my family, but the man I love was at home.

So we are sitting together in the study, and I am trying to build on our communication. Sometimes we have an argument and disagreement. I am trying to improve my communication. Let’s see how we fear going forward.

Prayer

Lord Jesus, today I want to dedicate my marriage into Your hands. You know that we are learning to communicate with each other. It’s not that easy, I do speak to my husband but he truly doesn’t understand me at the best of time. I am sure he feels exactly the same way. Lord please send the Holy Spirit and help me with my quest to better my communication with my husband and guide me going forward. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen

Yvette van Niekerk

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